A Gestalt Reflection on Change, Awareness, and Liberation
There are moments in life when something stirs, not loudly, not dramatically, but persistently. A quiet sense that where you are is no longer where you are meant to stay.
In Gestalt Therapy and Gestalt coaching, we attend closely to these moments, not as problems to solve, but as invitations to awareness. Because awareness is where change begins.
The Comfort of the Familiar
We are, by nature, meaning making beings. We organise our experience into patterns, habits of thinking, feeling, and behaving, that allow us to function in the world. Over time, these patterns become fixed. What once served us can become automatic, even limiting.
Fritz Perls described this as a loss of awareness, when we no longer experience ourselves freshly, but instead live through habitual responses (Perls, Hefferline, & Goodman, 1951). Gestalt practice invites us to bring these patterns into awareness:
- How am I shaping this situation?
- What am I not noticing?
- What feels unfinished or unresolved?
As Erving Polster and Miriam Polster (1973) suggest, awareness itself is curative.
The Edge of Change
There comes a point where the familiar no longer fits. This is the threshold, the edge between what has been and what is emerging.
In Gestalt terms, this can be understood through the contact boundary, where the self meets the environment (Yontef & Jacobs, 2011). It is here that growth occurs, but also where resistance often arises. We hesitate at the edge not because we lack capacity, but because change requires:
- Letting go of certainty
- Releasing established identities
- Entering into the unknown
Gestalt coaching does not force movement. Instead, it supports presence at the boundary, allowing awareness, choice, and responsibility to unfold.
Letting Go to Move Forward
All meaningful change involves loss. Old ways of being must soften or dissolve for something new to emerge.
Arnold Beisser articulated this paradox in his well known Paradoxical Theory of Change: change occurs not when we try to become what we are not, but when we fully accept what we are (Beisser, 1970). This is not passive acceptance. It is an active, embodied recognition of present experience. From this recognition, something shifts.
Becoming More Fully Yourself
Gestalt is not about fixing, it is about integration. It is about reclaiming disowned aspects of the self and bringing them into awareness. Carl Rogers similarly emphasised the importance of congruence and authenticity, suggesting that psychological growth emerges in conditions of acceptance and presence (Rogers, 1961).
Through awareness, we move toward:
- Greater coherence
- Increased responsiveness
- A deeper sense of agency
Freedom, in this sense, is not abstract. It is lived: the freedom to choose, the freedom to respond rather than react, the freedom to be.
A Gentle Invitation
If something in your life feels unresolved, constrained, or ready for change, pause, notice. What is asking for your attention?
Gestalt does not rush to answers. Instead, it honours the process of inquiry. Because in sustained awareness, something reorganises. Sometimes, that reorganisation marks the beginning of a profound shift, not imposed from outside, but emerging from within.
Companion Reflective Exercise – an Invitation to You from me
“At the Threshold” – A Gestalt Awareness Practice. This can work as a journaling piece, coaching exercise, or reflection.
Step 1: Noticing the Stirring
Take a moment to settle. Ask yourself:
- What in my life currently feels “unsettled” or incomplete?
- Where do I sense a pull toward change?
- Write freely. Stay descriptive rather than analytical.
Step 2: Mapping the Familiar
Bring awareness to the current pattern. Ask:
- What am I doing or repeating here?
- How am I contributing to maintaining this situation?
- What feels comfortable about staying the same?
Notice without judgement.
Step 3: Meeting the Edge
Now turn toward the “edge” of this situation:
- What feels unknown or uncertain?
- What am I afraid might happen if I change?
- What identity or belief might I need to release?
Pause here. This is the contact boundary.
Step 4: Owning the Present
Instead of trying to change anything, simply complete this sentence several times:
“Right now, I am aware that I…”
Allow whatever emerges to be enough.
Step 5: Choosing Forward
From awareness, not pressure – ask:
- What feels like the smallest, most honest next step?
- What would it mean to respond, rather than react?
Keep it simple. Let it be yours. Good Luck.
Written with care
Fredrik